


a blast from the past

by montegobae



Series: crackfics i am sorry for [1]
Category: K-pop, LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Crack, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21613936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montegobae/pseuds/montegobae
Summary: Before her first date, Hyunjin is visited by one of her ancestors.
Relationships: Kim Hyunjin (LOONA) & Ha Sooyoung | Yves
Series: crackfics i am sorry for [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557760
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	a blast from the past

**Author's Note:**

> there are some gross ass explicit fics yall are writing about maknae line clogging this tag so im pulling from my collection of random crackfics to drown them out sorry in advance *star emoji*  
> also i told gaywrongs i would publish something

Regarding her reflection in a full-length mirror, Hyunjin adjusted the cat ears atop her head. Their fur became coarse from use and age, but Hyunjin couldn’t imagine surviving such a momentous occasion without them. Tightening the straps of her fingerless pleather gloves, her outfit was finally complete. It was really happening; her first date! With deep breaths, she calmed her butterflies.

“You got this, Aeongie…” She knocked the mirror, giving her reflection a little fist bump. “First date, no problem…”

Suddenly, a spirit apparated before her, hands and knees on the ground. Its shaking was uncontained, its retching uncontrollable. It appeared to vomit over and over. Hyunjin leapt back, her already-nervous heart pumping three times faster. Breathless, Hyunjin let the spirit speak.

“oH My-EUAGH! yOu aAre noT-BLEEUUGCH! TherE iS NO – SDKJGSNFJGBHKRNEAJHTB” The spirit slammed a fist on the ground, only for its hand to pass through Hyunjin’s carpet. Instead of a thud, it made a little _whoosh_ sound. _Whoosh. Whoosh whoosh. Whoooosh._

Finally, Hyunjin regained her composure, mustering her words with false confidence. “Who are you?”

The ghost halted its dramatics. First, it rose from the floor, appearing as a limp body lifted by an invisible hand. Hyunjin just about shook in her spiked combat boots. Then, as if the power unseen flicked its wrist, the apparition’s body snapped straight upright, revealing herself to be an old woman with incredibly defined collar bones.

“And what was all that fuss for? Can you even actually vomit?” Indeed, when the spirit touched upon Hyunjin’s floor, she stood in a puddle of nothing.

Her voice pierced Hyunjin’s eardrums, not because it was particularly loud or shrill, but because Hyunjin was allergic to criticism. “I’m Sooyoung,” she introduced. “—and you’re..." Sooyoung looked her up and down. "... looking absolutely atrocious.”

“ _Hiss!_ ” Hyunjin swiped a claw in defense, but her attack whiffed, digging into air. _Whoooooooosh_.

“And you’re dumb, too. Pick a struggle,” the old woman retorted. “I’m a ghost. I’d say you can’t hurt me, but your outfit isn’t exactly ‘easy on the eyes.’”

“I know you’re a ghost!” Hyunjin huffed. “Your skin is deathly pale—”

“Wait, what?” Sooyoung ran a hand over her face, uncovering her golden skin. “Oh, that’s just my foundation.”

“Still. You were floating.” Hyunjin crossed her arms, leaning back on her heels. “So… How’d you die?”

“What do you think?”

With a shrug, “Old age?”

Jazz music that never started playing stopped, Sooyoung ripping off a pair of sunglasses that she hadn’t been wearing. “I’d kill you for that, but I don’t want to exist in the same realm of existence as you.”

“I was just playing…” Hyunjin was not playing. “Ddaeng.”

Sooyoung regarded the young-and-in-love teen again, now with pity. “Really… Pick a struggle.”

Hyunjin ignored the comment. “So, how’d you die?”

“Right now, I’m dying of secondhand embarrassment.” Sooyoung floated towards Hyunjin. “I’ve been haunting your house for a few years now, and you’ve been…” Recalling the time where Hyunjin spent an hour trying to communicate with her own echo via meows, Sooyoung continues, “—real funny to be around.”

Hyunjin perked up. “You really think I’m funny?”

“Uh…” Sooyoung contemplated her words. “Yeah, sure.”

Hyunjin’s grin reached from one ear to the other.

“But,” Sooyoung adds, “I will not stand for this. Your outfit… The embarrassment, it’s too much even for me. You can’t go on your first date like this.”

“Excuse you. The lifestyle is not a choice. I was born this way.”

“Well, if I had known furries were in my gene pool, I would’ve tied my tubes.”

Hyunjin grew red. “I always thought household ghosts would be friendly, like Casper. But you’re more like… _como se dice_ … a major bitch.”

“Sorry, you thought? Didn’t know you had the brain capacity.”

Seething, Hyunjin nearly turned on her heels, but stopped when Sooyoung called her name.

“ _PLeAsE!_ ” Sooyoung stretched her arm towards Hyunjin, resting her hand more so _in_ her shoulder than _on_ it. “Hyunjin—”

“Aeong—”

“NOPE. We are NOT doing THAT.” Repeating herself, “Hyunjin. Please. You do this shit, you’ll end up in Hell. Like, actually. And I been been there. Ever been been there? That place sucks.”

“Please.” Hyunjin pushes her arm away. _Whoooooooooooosh_. “I think you’re just jealous of me going on a date.”

Sooyoung erupts into laughter, snorting in disbelief. “You’re kidding! You really think that?”

“Well, when’s the last time you got any action? The only thing tapping your ass are your hair extensions. I can’t tell if your shitty clip-ins are a choice or a punishment from the Devil himself.”

Sooyoung stood with her mouth agape.

“Well then,” Hyunjin turned, “If you don’t mind me, I’m gonna’ go get my girl.” With her ears standing tall, she marched to the exit.

Right before leaving she left the room, Sooyoung made a last-ditch effort. “Hyunjin—”

“Aeongie!” she grunted.

“Okay, Aeongie, whatever! Please,” Sooyoung begged, “Take the ears off at the very least. Consider this a late dying wish. Please.”

Hyunjin knitted her brows and pursed her lips. Flared her nostrils and scratched at her temple. Meanwhile, Sooyoung waited with bated breath, bringing her hands together to pray. (“Dear Sunmi, please help me out…”) Just as her hopes were nearly lost, Hyunjin plucked the cat ears off her head, flinging them onto her bed.

“Sunmi bless…” Sooyoung sighed in relief. Distracted by her own bliss, she nearly missed Hyunjin pulling out a dog collar from her back pocket.

Nearly.

Sooyoung grew even paler than her mismatched foundation. “No, Aeongie.” She shook her head. “Don’t do this to me.”

With a smirk, Hyunjin wrapped the collar around her neck. And she barked.

“ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!!! GRRRRR WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!!!!”

With this moment, Sooyoung could finally move on. Standing before the eternal afterlife, Sooyoung gave one last comment to Hyunjin:

“Eat shit, furry bitch.”

And she passed into the light.

**Author's Note:**

> so sorry


End file.
